TIME’s “Valuable” Offer: Marketing Like It’s 1982

If you subscribe to magazines, you know the direct mail push that comes anywhere from halfway through your subscription to the date of expiration.

Well, my TIME Magazine is running out and boy do they have an offer for me!

The TIME 4-in-1 pocket travel companion—FREE! “Modern technology in the palm of your hand!” they say.

Now you can have an alarm clock, calendar, world clock, and full-function calculator in one compact unit!

This handy alarm awakes you or alerts you to an appointment. You can turn it off without opening the case. Or lift the cover for a clear digital readout of the time (including a second count), day, month, year, and the current month’s calendar at a glance. The time and alarm set keys are color-coded separately from the full-function calculator keys. And the touch of a button reveals the time in your choice of 16 major cities around the world!

Don’t miss out on your Guaranteed Subscriber Rate and this valuable FREE GIFT with your paid subscription…RESPOND TODAY!

So…what are you thinking?

Please, please, can I guess? You already have a cell phone, right? And the cell phone can do much more than this silly little thing. Who is this device valuable to?

Modern technology in the palm of your hand—ha!

Really, TIME, it’s time to get with the 21st century. No wonder magazines are in trouble.